Do what works and do it now.

Full of shame I am for details nobody cares about. Almost everyone feels a shame for something. And often about details, nobody else notices. For example, I still don’t look like the perfect woman I visualized and affirmed years ago. But will there be someone who’s ever thinking about that, except me?

Easily I walk around naked at the beach and into the sea. I don’t feel ashamed. Because everybody is actually naked and all we dress up with is cover up, make-able and interchangeable, except your own naked body.

Who made me believe I had to be ashamed for anything anyhow? Shame is a very uncomfortable and annoying feeling that can show up at any moment. I am a fast thinker with a creative mind and a tattler, calling deviating blurbs, not always receiving an understanding response.

But there’s no reason for shame, because I do what I can and know quite sure that most of my life I’ve been doing the best I can. Well, at high school I didn’t very well, because I was totally bored by the nonsense we had to learn. But I’ve been working heard all my life and I still do.

Where does this uncomfortable shame come from? Or shyness that bothers us from such young age? We read it in the bible, Adam and Eve, the fall out of paradise. And in Anderson's The emperor's new clothes, an absorbing fairy tale about shame and acting as if. Is the shame sitting in our DNA and if so, how did that happen? Are we tinkered including emotions, by which we do make or keep ourselves smaller?

So why the shame?

Where does this uncomfortable shame come from? Or shyness that bothers us from such young age? We read it in the bible, Adam and Eve, the fall out of paradise. And in Anderson’s The emperor’s new clothes, an absorbing fairy tale about shame and acting as if. Is the shame sitting in our DNA and if so, how did that happen? Are we tinkered including emotions, by which we do make or keep ourselves smaller?

And that affirming and visualizing of a body that looks different than the one I have? How weird is it that I want to have a different body than the one I have, while I am super healthy and have a strong body, perferctly and all included? I hear it so often in my daily practice. And I’ve been raised with it.

My mother curls her hair since she was 12 years old, because to her opinion straight hair isn’t good enough. She always checks the weather, because rain is bad for her curly hair. and I have straight hair, so she kept it short. “You looked so cute with short hair.” That’s true, I have the photos. But when I was about 10 I wanted long hair and got 2 full tales. I still have straight hair and it’s a lot. there’s nothing wrong with it, when you don’t care about curls. My mother went on diets, while she was not fat. My older sister as well and so did I. And when I see the photo below I really don’t understand why.

“I was looking at a photo of myself 10 years ago and wanted to look like then, when I remembered that at that time of the photo I also wanted to look like 10 years earlier.”
(participant in training)
At 15 years old I already had all kinds of judgements about my body. I hated my glasses and thought I had a big butt. For years I've tried to change that. Never tried to change the judgement, but the physical body. Which is totally impossible!
My healthy and sportive young body

Since I was 4 years old I was into gymnastics. I loved to hang upside down in the rings or made handstands and cartwheels on and on. I never had any complains about my physical condition and still am limber, even if I don’t try to. On the photo above I’m 15 and now I remember that in those days I already had all kinds of judgements about my body. I hated my glasses and thought I had a big butt. For years I’ve tried to change that. Never tried to change the judgement, but the physical body. Which is totally impossible!

Shame creates loneliness

Shame isolates and makes you feel lonely. When I believe there’s something wrong with me, I exclude myself. Than I think I don’t fit in. Than I isolate myself. Sometimes I don’t even realise I’m doing it, because I believe they are doing it to me: the others, the outer world.

And with all the divide-and-conquer going on in the world this is exactly what I should not do. And neither should you. Especially not now.

Do you sometimes escape from this uncomfortable feeling? Do you distract yourself with candies, wine, watching TV, YouTube, eating, diversion, anaesthesia? And do you feel ashamed afterwards for yourself, your behaviour, your laziness, your weakness or your much too visible body?

Right now the mutual division comes raw to the surface. There’s division amongst family members, friends, parents and children, partners, collegaues, neighbours and strangers on the streets.

While people need each other badly. We cannot live without each other and that’s why we can’t stand isolation, even when we organise it ourselves. Shame is old and it sits deep.

Let it go

But how different would your life be when you wouldn’t feel a shame for being fat? When you could tell your neighbor that your child is on drugs? Imagine that you could tell your business club pals that you don’t succeed? Or that someone doesn’t want you anymore? And that everybody may know that you have financial worries? Or that you actually don’t know it?

But how different would your life be when your wouldn't feel a shame for being fat? When you could tell your neighbor that your child is on drugs? Imagine that you could tell your business club pals that you don't succeed? Or that someone doesn't want you anymore? And that everybody may know that you have financial worries? Or that you actually don't know it?
Letting it all go in the ice cold winter sea. End of December 2020

How nice when you dare to tell someone what’s bothering you. And you can connect with each other, even though there are differences. How nice when you don’t have to hide your sadness, guild or anger! Because as long as we put it away, distract or numb ourselves we don’t solve anything.

To let go of something you first have to see it, hold it, look at it. Do you know what you are hiding? Do you want to connect with others again? Don’t wait for the other, but make the first step.

Maybe I can help you? Make an appoint for a free session, where you can ask me anything.

Or check out my online training My imperfect body. This training is meant for people, who NEVER want to diet again – something you should not want, because it is super unhealthy – and who don’t want to suffer in the gym.

Everybody is welcome for online sessions. No new rules!
Welcome! Also without test or vaccine

DAY 294   What started as my 100 DAYS OF HEALING TOUR appeared to become a much longer and still ongoing tour. Yes, I’m an optimist. And I choose to always be one.


Without realising it, I landed back on Cyprus exactly 9 months after my departure. What am I doing here? For one reason or another I had to get back here just for a while, before the end of the year.

Warm seaswimming in December

On March 15 this year at Larnaka Airport I was brought in a wheelchair to the airplane and with a chunk of plaster on my leg I hopped into the craft. For a while I have considered to have myself carried by such a Greek God, but actually the situation itself already was crazy enough. On December 15 lately I stepped out of the plane totally autonomic and walked with my little suitcase into the sunlight again.

In the term in between I went through an expeditiously development that changed my life in all aspects. While until then I was a mediocre runner, everlasting continuer and succesful runaway, a complicated ankle fracture forced me to sit still. And in that stillness progress on all levels arised; physically, mentally and spiritually. Probably in reversed order, so spiritually, mentally and physically.

Today we finally did our delayed walk in the Troödos mountains,the plan we had on the 2nd of March, when Elia came to pick me up. But I dropped off the stairs, so in stead of to the mountains she brought me linea recta to the hospital.   

I still limp and feel pain every day, but I have to confess that I wouldn’t have missed the lapse. I was unstopable and this tumble made me taking time to stand (sit) still for who I am and what I really want.

There where you stumble your biggest treasure is burried.
(Paulo Coelho)

Walk in Troödos Mountains with Elia Stephanidou

Life is an adventure and I am a wanderer, a therapist and an artist. Once I thought I had to choose, but this year made it clear to me that I’m allowed to be all and that as an (icon) painter ánd as a therapist I can be productive and groovy.

Within one month the titanium framework will be taken out of my ankle. This has made the walking quite nasty until now and the doctor foretells me not to count on too much improvement, but I take the chance.

I will focus the coming year particularly on individual intensives and retreats, in which fundamental changes will be effectuated fast. I’ve already started this in the past months.

I know what I’m good at and I know what I love to do the most. And only that I will do the coming year.

I wish you all good, lots of love & progression in the new year!

Jeannette.

DAY 77  Every morning at awakening there’s that moment, where I move myself, feel and think: “Oh yes, that leg.” That stiff leg. Not that painful anymore, but that nasty uncomfortable feeling which I don’t get used to. In the night I’ve forgotten it all, happily, but when I wake up there is the constraint of the body. I try my best and give a twist to my thoughts: three weeks ago I wasn’t able to stand, had a cast around it, had to lay on my back. And 77 days ago my foot was a wound, with broken bones, torn ligaments and a lot of pain. Now only my leg is stiff and painful, but as good as whole. The bone is beautiful! The skin is gorgeous. The scarfs on both sides are thin lines, almost the same colour as the rest of the skin. I can turn on both sides, don’t need extra pillows anymore and I can even lay on my belly, sometimes.

Laying in bed I move my feet. Stretching backwards and curving toes, than bending up front and curling up. Not a nice feeling, but nothing compared to the pain at March 2. I succeed much more in doing this then just after the cast was taken off. I let my right foot join in, flexible and painless. I can be frustrated by thinking how easy and flexible it was, but I choose to admire my left foot for the beautiful recovery and progress.

With a crutch I waggel to the bathroom. It asks courage to stand on it again. And I say loudly to myself: “You can stand on it.” That’s what the fysiotherapist also says, but I tend to forget it, I tend to spare it when it hurts, but now I can stand on it. Going towards the pain is always better than pulling away from it. Avoiding never solves anything, it only delays and than you’re carrying it with you for longer. I can do it and I do it.

Showering while I’m standing is nice. I switch off the warm tap and leave my left leg under the cold shower until I’ve dried the rest of me. Sitting on a stool I dry my feet and walk back to my bedroom. It feels like summer so I put on my blue flower dress, bought in Honolulu. After my breakfast with Cypriot coffee I go out. Flip, my cat, comes with me.

I walk very consiously, try to lean on the crutches as less as possible and as much as possible on my feet, rolling of my feet at every step. I watch and feel how I do that with my right foot. I never pay attention to this. What actually is normal walking, how does it work? If you can do something and you do it naturally you don’t pay attention to it anymore. I’m on the road for about 45 minutes and I walk almost one kilometer. Meanwhile I check at the newborn in the neighbourhood; gooses, coots, lambs.

Every morning I meet at least one stranger on the go, who asks me if I can manage and what has happened to me. I tell them I broke my ankle and that last month I wasn’t able to walk at all and now I’m walking outside. And that I’m very happy about that and so it’s going a little better every day. Yes, it hurts. Or someone walks by, doesn’t ask for details, but wishes me the best. People smile friendly at me or nodd at me engouraging. What a beautiful neighbourhood I live in with such kind people.

I feel vulnerable, but because of all these kind people around me I feel protected when making my first fragile steps. I experience compassion and encouragement. And I focus on my progression and on how good it feels to walk here so calm and consciously. To have the time and to take the time. And to be totally in the here and now.

It is only 11 in the morning. I’m writing my blog, while I’m sitting with both bare feet in the sun. For Mothersday I got lavander oil and now I’m going to massage my feet with it and than just lay in the sun for awhile. Here and now. Don’t worry. Be happy.

To be continued …   (Part of my 100 days of healing tour)
© Jeannette van Uffelen

Sea swimming, no matter the weather. YES, it is much easier when the weather is warm and the sea is the Pacific Ocean. But I’m happy to live close to the shore and can be at the beach in 15 minutes from my house.

The North Sea is rough and most of the time it is impossible to lay down and surrender for a swim, because you’re drawn away by the undercurrent and than it’s a hell of a job to get back. So better not try it! I’m tough in the water and not scared at all, but I know this sea and I know she’s a dangerous force.

And after they created the Sandmotor it became even worse. When it’s summer the temperature is fine. To get used to the water is always challenging, but when you’re IN it’s amazing. Even though in case it’s impossible to swim, because of the force, I love to be there.

With seafreak Kim Jewell at Kailua Beach Hawaii

Of course it’s nice when the sea allows you to lay down and swim and play. I respect and I fear the force of the sea. All through the years I live here, which is most of my life, we’ve been hearing and reading the news of people, drawn here. You don’t need to go deep, it’s just the force that pulls you back in and makes it impossible to reach the shore. Not only for little children, especially strong young men have been surprised and caught.

No matter the weather

I dip and dive into the sea all through the year, even in winter when it’s freezing. I’ve learned how to prepare, what clothes to wear and how to dry myself in a fast way. And I’ve learned to walk back fast enough to get warm again on my way home, because otherwise I can’t get my feet warm anymore at all during the day. And that’s no good and no fun.

#seaswimmers #lovethesea Zakynthos, Greece, Litô Kampiotis, Jeannette van Uffelen, sea
With seafreak Litô in Zakynthos, Greece

Yes, the start is difficult. Before you come to the joy part there is the body that needs to get used to the temperature. When the sea is too strong you have to do everything slowly and you can’t just throw yourself into the cold, which I prefer; just drop myself down and surrender. I love to swim, but when the current is strong you better stay on both legs.

Anyway, no matter the weather or what is possible or isn’t, being into the sea ALWAYS energises me and makes me feel strong and ALIVE. And when I’m done and dry again, sometimes almost frozen, because I love the beauty, the challenge and the solitude at the beach in wintertime and tend to stay too long, I always feel GOOD and so much better than before.

More sea swimmers every year

I(t) need(s) some courage to go in the sea at home or in Norway in the winter. But nowadays we have science (whatever that means) to prove us the health benefits of challenging your body to the cold. When I was a child I remember that our family doctor was known and admired for his daily seaswimming habit.

For sure for me this is something that WORKS, so I DO IT. It’s worth the effort and so am I.

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sea, seaswimming, #sealovers #seaswimmers #winterswimming
Seafreak in december in Cyprus