First step in 2018

DAY 294 What started as my 100 DAYS OF HEALING TOUR appeared to become a much longer and still ongoing tour. Yes, I’m an optimist. And I choose to always be one.

Without realising it, I landed back on Cyprus exactly 9 months after my departure. What am I doing here? For one reason or another I had to get back here just for a while, before the end of the year.

On March 15 this year at Larnaka Airport I was brought in a wheelchair to the airplane and with a chunk of plaster on my leg I hopped into the craft. For a while I have considered to have myself carried by such a Greek God, but actually the situation itself already was crazy enough. On December 15 lately I stepped out of the plane totally autonomic and walked with my little suitcase into the sunlight again.

In the term in between I went through an expeditiously development that changed my life in all aspects. While until then I was a mediocre runner, everlasting continuer and succesful runaway, a complicated ankle fracture forced me to sit still. And in that stillness progress on all levels arised; physically, mentally and spiritually. Probably in reversed order, so spiritually, mentally and physically.

Today we finally did our delayed walk in the Troödos mountains,the plan we had on the 2nd of March, when Elia came to pick me up. But I dropped off the stairs, so in stead of to the mountains she brought me linea recta to the hospital.

I still limp and feel pain every day, but I have to confess that I wouldn’t have missed the lapse. I was unstopable and this tumble made me taking time to stand (sit) still for who I am and what I really want.

There where you stumble your biggest treasure is burried.
(Paulo Coelho)

Walk in Troödos Mountains with Elia Stephanidou

Life is an adventure and I am a wanderer, a therapist and an artist. Once I thought I had to choose, but this year made it clear to me that I’m allowed to be all and that as an (icon) painter ánd as a therapist I can be productive and groovy.

Within one month the titanium framework will be taken out of my ankle. This has made the walking quite nasty until now and the doctor foretells me not to count on too much improvement, but I take the chance.

I will focus the coming year particularly on individual intensives and retreats, in which fundamental changes will be effectuated fast. I’ve already started this in the past months.

I know what I’m good at and I know what I love to do the most. And only that I will do the coming year.

I wish you all good, lots of love & progression in the new year!

Jeannette.

Step by step

DAY 77 Every morning at awakening there’s that moment, where I move myself, feel and think: “Oh yes, that leg.” That stiff leg. Not that painful anymore, but that nasty uncomfortable feeling which I don’t get used to. In the night I’ve forgotten it all, happily, but when I wake up there is the constraint of the body. I try my best and give a twist to my thoughts: three weeks ago I wasn’t able to stand, had a cast around it, had to lay on my back. And 77 days ago my foot was a wound, with broken bones, torn ligaments and a lot of pain. Now only my leg is stiff and painful, but as good as whole. The bone is beautiful! The skin is gorgeous. The scarfs on both sides are thin lines, almost the same colour as the rest of the skin. I can turn on both sides, don’t need extra pillows anymore and I can even lay on my belly, sometimes.

Laying in bed I move my feet. Stretching backwards and curving toes, than bending up front and curling up. Not a nice feeling, but nothing compared to the pain at March 2. I succeed much more in doing this then just after the cast was taken off. I let my right foot join in, flexible and painless. I can be frustrated by thinking how easy and flexible it was, but I choose to admire my left foot for the beautiful recovery and progress.

With a crutch I waggel to the bathroom. It asks courage to stand on it again. And I say loudly to myself: “You can stand on it.” That’s what the fysiotherapist also says, but I tend to forget it, I tend to spare it when it hurts, but now I can stand on it. Going towards the pain is always better than pulling away from it. Avoiding never solves anything, it only delays and than you’re carrying it with you for longer. I can do it and I do it.

Showering while I’m standing is nice. I switch off the warm tap and leave my left leg under the cold shower until I’ve dried the rest of me. Sitting on a stool I dry my feet and walk back to my bedroom. It feels like summer so I put on my blue flower dress, bought in Honolulu. After my breakfast with Cypriot coffee I go out. Flip, my cat, comes with me.

I walk very consiously, try to lean on the crutches as less as possible and as much as possible on my feet, rolling of my feet at every step. I watch and feel how I do that with my right foot. I never pay attention to this. What actually is normal walking, how does it work? If you can do something and you do it naturally you don’t pay attention to it anymore. I’m on the road for about 45 minutes and I walk almost one kilometer. Meanwhile I check at the newborn in the neighbourhood; gooses, coots, lambs.

Every morning I meet at least one stranger on the go, who asks me if I can manage and what has happened to me. I tell them I broke my ankle and that last month I wasn’t able to walk at all and now I’m walking outside. And that I’m very happy about that and so it’s going a little better every day. Yes, it hurts. Or someone walks by, doesn’t ask for details, but wishes me the best. People smile friendly at me or nodd at me engouraging. What a beautiful neighbourhood I live in with such kind people.

I feel vulnerable, but because of all these kind people around me I feel protected when making my first fragile steps. I experience compassion and encouragement. And I focus on my progression and on how good it feels to walk here so calm and consciously. To have the time and to take the time. And to be totally in the here and now.

It is only 11 in the morning. I’m writing my blog, while I’m sitting with both bare feet in the sun. For Mothersday I got lavander oil and now I’m going to massage my feet with it and than just lay in the sun for awhile. Here and now. Don’t worry. Be happy.

100 days of healing tour