Do what works

Step by step

DAY 77 Every morning at awakening there’s that moment, where I move myself, feel and think: “Oh yes, that leg.” That stiff leg. Not that painful anymore, but that nasty uncomfortable feeling which I don’t get used to. In the night I’ve forgotten it all, happily, but when I wake up there is the constraint of the body. I try my best and give a twist to my thoughts: three weeks ago I wasn’t able to stand, had a cast around it, had to lay on my back. And 77 days ago my foot was a wound, with broken bones, torn ligaments and a lot of pain. Now only my leg is stiff and painful, but as good as whole. The bone is beautiful! The skin is gorgeous. The scarfs on both sides are thin lines, almost the same colour as the rest of the skin. I can turn on both sides, don’t need extra pillows anymore and I can even lay on my belly, sometimes.

Laying in bed I move my feet. Stretching backwards and curving toes, than bending up front and curling up. Not a nice feeling, but nothing compared to the pain at March 2. I succeed much more in doing this then just after the cast was taken off. I let my right foot join in, flexible and painless. I can be frustrated by thinking how easy and flexible it was, but I choose to admire my left foot for the beautiful recovery and progress.

With a crutch I waggel to the bathroom. It asks courage to stand on it again. And I say loudly to myself: “You can stand on it.” That’s what the fysiotherapist also says, but I tend to forget it, I tend to spare it when it hurts, but now I can stand on it. Going towards the pain is always better than pulling away from it. Avoiding never solves anything, it only delays and than you’re carrying it with you for longer. I can do it and I do it.

Showering while I’m standing is nice. I switch off the warm tap and leave my left leg under the cold shower until I’ve dried the rest of me. Sitting on a stool I dry my feet and walk back to my bedroom. It feels like summer so I put on my blue flower dress, bought in Honolulu. After my breakfast with Cypriot coffee I go out. Flip, my cat, comes with me.

I walk very consiously, try to lean on the crutches as less as possible and as much as possible on my feet, rolling of my feet at every step. I watch and feel how I do that with my right foot. I never pay attention to this. What actually is normal walking, how does it work? If you can do something and you do it naturally you don’t pay attention to it anymore. I’m on the road for about 45 minutes and I walk almost one kilometer. Meanwhile I check at the newborn in the neighbourhood; gooses, coots, lambs.

Every morning I meet at least one stranger on the go, who asks me if I can manage and what has happened to me. I tell them I broke my ankle and that last month I wasn’t able to walk at all and now I’m walking outside. And that I’m very happy about that and so it’s going a little better every day. Yes, it hurts. Or someone walks by, doesn’t ask for details, but wishes me the best. People smile friendly at me or nodd at me engouraging. What a beautiful neighbourhood I live in with such kind people.

I feel vulnerable, but because of all these kind people around me I feel protected when making my first fragile steps. I experience compassion and encouragement. And I focus on my progression and on how good it feels to walk here so calm and consciously. To have the time and to take the time. And to be totally in the here and now.

It is only 11 in the morning. I’m writing my blog, while I’m sitting with both bare feet in the sun. For Mothersday I got lavander oil and now I’m going to massage my feet with it and than just lay in the sun for awhile. Here and now. Don’t worry. Be happy.

To be continued … (Part of my 100 days of healing tour)
© Jeannette van Uffelen

100 days of healing tour

Foto: footsteps in the sand

This was the most shocking experience in the last twenty years for sure. I was sitting on the floor, had just fallen of the stairs and saw my ankle broken. My greatest fear was staring at me: I couldn’t stand up, I couldn’t walk on, I couldn’t run away.

I was in shock, but also I knew this was my challenge and my chance to change forever, to finally go there, go to the deep, changing myself. I’d been longing for it and trying to reach it, to do it, to change myself for so many years. I had no map, no idea of the route, but here it was, into my face. Don’t worry. Be open. Be wise. Do what you have to do.

And so my 100 days of healing tour started.

Iconic Present

Iconic Present is one of my other activities. When I was just eighteen and visited Greece for the first time, I didn’t know anything about Greece, that had just opened up after the dark years. I wanted to go there and so I did. I was a young blond girl and didn’t understand any Greek, but I felt at home. Years later I took lessons to learn to speak and write New Greek.

During the years I visited many iconic places on the mainland and many islands. Going to Greece changed me fundamentally. I lived under a tree on Gavdos for awhile, because by then there was nothing else, except some locals. No tourism and no rooms to rent, nothing there and because of that I loved it. In those days every church, big or small or far away on a mountain top, was open. To my amaze there was always an oillamp burning, when there seemed to be no one around.

Those churches were places of comfort and the only cool spots after a long walk. I’ve spend many hours in there. Extraordinary acoustics, so I’ve enjoyed singing in those far away places, just on my own, no one listening, except some goats and sheeps.

More than 40 years later Greece is my second home and I can’t count the flights I took to get there. All together I’ve spent a few years of my life there and still it is one of my favourite places to do my YOUR INNER POWER retreats.

Fascinating iconic icons & fresco’s

There I found frescos, some were hundreds of years old, faded by the time, and fascinating ikones. I knew I could do it myself and that one day I would learn the technique and do it. I’ve been drawing and painting a lot when I was a child. Some years ago I started lessons in the technique of iconography. Actually this word means icon writing and not icon painting, because pictures where used as writing before we had the alphabeth.

Recently I was in Anilio on Mount Pilion, where we met Dimitrios, who opened the church for us and showed the damage and what was saved after the fire they had in the little church.

I like to make stuff; portraits, collages, furniture, clothes, toys and practical stuff. I see it in my mind and find a way to make it. Icons have a tradition of copying, but I see them different and give my own twist to them.Although I love the art in churches, I’m not a fan of the institute, no matter what religion they practice. I also love to sing (choir) music by composers who where obviously inspired by their spirituality and/or what they believe in.

I found my own style

I’ve been giving icons to my loved ones and then people started to ask me to sell them, which I did as well. After breaking my ankle in 2017, I was forced to sit for weeks and not able to do the work I did, so my focus shifted to painting icons. It’s a blessing!