About Jeannette

Full of shame I am for details nobody cares about. Almost everyone feels a shame for something. And often about details, nobody else notices. For example, I still don’t look like the perfect woman I visualized and affirmed years ago. But will there be someone who’s ever thinking about that, except me?

Easily I walk around naked at the beach and into the sea. I don’t feel ashamed. Because everybody is actually naked and all we dress up with is cover up, make-able and interchangeable, except your own naked body.

Who made me believe I had to be ashamed for anything anyhow? Shame is a very uncomfortable and annoying feeling that can show up at any moment. I am a fast thinker with a creative mind and a tattler, calling deviating blurbs, not always receiving an understanding response.

But there’s no reason for shame, because I do what I can and know quite sure that most of my life I’ve been doing the best I can. Well, at high school I didn’t very well, because I was totally bored by the nonsense we had to learn. But I’ve been working heard all my life and I still do.

Where does this uncomfortable shame come from? Or shyness that bothers us from such young age? We read it in the bible, Adam and Eve, the fall out of paradise. And in Anderson's The emperor's new clothes, an absorbing fairy tale about shame and acting as if. Is the shame sitting in our DNA and if so, how did that happen? Are we tinkered including emotions, by which we do make or keep ourselves smaller?

So why the shame?

Where does this uncomfortable shame come from? Or shyness that bothers us from such young age? We read it in the bible, Adam and Eve, the fall out of paradise. And in Anderson’s The emperor’s new clothes, an absorbing fairy tale about shame and acting as if. Is the shame sitting in our DNA and if so, how did that happen? Are we tinkered including emotions, by which we do make or keep ourselves smaller?

And that affirming and visualizing of a body that looks different than the one I have? How weird is it that I want to have a different body than the one I have, while I am super healthy and have a strong body, perferctly and all included? I hear it so often in my daily practice. And I’ve been raised with it.

My mother curls her hair since she was 12 years old, because to her opinion straight hair isn’t good enough. She always checks the weather, because rain is bad for her curly hair. and I have straight hair, so she kept it short. “You looked so cute with short hair.” That’s true, I have the photos. But when I was about 10 I wanted long hair and got 2 full tales. I still have straight hair and it’s a lot. there’s nothing wrong with it, when you don’t care about curls. My mother went on diets, while she was not fat. My older sister as well and so did I. And when I see the photo below I really don’t understand why.

“I was looking at a photo of myself 10 years ago and wanted to look like then, when I remembered that at that time of the photo I also wanted to look like 10 years earlier.”
(participant in training)
At 15 years old I already had all kinds of judgements about my body. I hated my glasses and thought I had a big butt. For years I've tried to change that. Never tried to change the judgement, but the physical body. Which is totally impossible!
My healthy and sportive young body

Since I was 4 years old I was into gymnastics. I loved to hang upside down in the rings or made handstands and cartwheels on and on. I never had any complains about my physical condition and still am limber, even if I don’t try to. On the photo above I’m 15 and now I remember that in those days I already had all kinds of judgements about my body. I hated my glasses and thought I had a big butt. For years I’ve tried to change that. Never tried to change the judgement, but the physical body. Which is totally impossible!

Shame creates loneliness

Shame isolates and makes you feel lonely. When I believe there’s something wrong with me, I exclude myself. Than I think I don’t fit in. Than I isolate myself. Sometimes I don’t even realise I’m doing it, because I believe they are doing it to me: the others, the outer world.

And with all the divide-and-conquer going on in the world this is exactly what I should not do. And neither should you. Especially not now.

Do you sometimes escape from this uncomfortable feeling? Do you distract yourself with candies, wine, watching TV, YouTube, eating, diversion, anaesthesia? And do you feel ashamed afterwards for yourself, your behaviour, your laziness, your weakness or your much too visible body?

Right now the mutual division comes raw to the surface. There’s division amongst family members, friends, parents and children, partners, collegaues, neighbours and strangers on the streets.

While people need each other badly. We cannot live without each other and that’s why we can’t stand isolation, even when we organise it ourselves. Shame is old and it sits deep.

Let it go

But how different would your life be when you wouldn’t feel a shame for being fat? When you could tell your neighbor that your child is on drugs? Imagine that you could tell your business club pals that you don’t succeed? Or that someone doesn’t want you anymore? And that everybody may know that you have financial worries? Or that you actually don’t know it?

But how different would your life be when your wouldn't feel a shame for being fat? When you could tell your neighbor that your child is on drugs? Imagine that you could tell your business club pals that you don't succeed? Or that someone doesn't want you anymore? And that everybody may know that you have financial worries? Or that you actually don't know it?
Letting it all go in the ice cold winter sea. End of December 2020

How nice when you dare to tell someone what’s bothering you. And you can connect with each other, even though there are differences. How nice when you don’t have to hide your sadness, guild or anger! Because as long as we put it away, distract or numb ourselves we don’t solve anything.

To let go of something you first have to see it, hold it, look at it. Do you know what you are hiding? Do you want to connect with others again? Don’t wait for the other, but make the first step.

Maybe I can help you? Make an appoint for a free session, where you can ask me anything.

Or check out my online training My imperfect body. This training is meant for people, who NEVER want to diet again – something you should not want, because it is super unhealthy – and who don’t want to suffer in the gym.

Everybody is welcome for online sessions. No new rules!
Welcome! Also without test or vaccine

To procrastinate was one of the issues why Sandra approached me online. She’d found my website and wanted work with me. After doing some online sessions I invited her to join me in the Your Inner Power summer retreat in Greece.

Because the group retreat program only happened every morning I could also offer a limited amount of private sessions in the afternoon, which Sandra did two times.

Since I’d worked with Jeannette online, the mutual trust and openness were given. So we could start right away.

Believe me, I don’t regret it!

Then in March 2020 Sandra bought the Premium Package to have an Individual Intensive Retreat. So she took an 8 hours trip by train to my town on Thursday evening and left on Sunday afternoon, to be back home in the evening, ready to work the next morning. And she’d rented an Airbnb studio in my area, from where I picked her up on Friday morning to walk to my office@home. We worked about 16 hours in 3 days. And on Saturday afternoon we had some leisure time in the old city centre.

I came to Den Haag to work with Jeannette again. Believe me, I don’t regret it. For the sessions I had prepared myself with a list of topics to work through in a certain order – admittedly the unpleasant topics at the end. Procrastinate to release the heavy stuff. But everything turned out differently. After listening to my list, Jeannette suggested to Number 1: focus on the more uncomfortable topics. And she immediately started to help me to release and let them go. I am very good at “catastrophizing” and to blow things out of proportion and make a situation worse than it really is.

Lessons learned

My lessons learned, by facing the most intense issues, right from the start: I realized it’s not as bad as I picture it in my mind. I experienced it’s such a relief not to procrastinate. Because it is so much better to do what has to be done as soon as I can. The faster I was confronted with my biggest fears, the faster I could get rid of them. Everything else on my list was easier to let go, because I’d done the most heavy stuff at first. I feel so relieved. And I am so proud of myself. Thanks to Jeannette!

When we talked beforehand on the phone I’d suggested Sandra to bring a list with what she wanted to change in her life. The Premium Package contains 20 hours, which is about 10 sessions. Which means that one session we used to prepair her Weekend Intensive and one session we left for a follow up one week after coming home. This is to check on the results, like in this case: Did you procrastinate lately?

Sandra did not procrastinate to send feedback

  • Before starting the sessions: it makes so much sense to talk about the list of topics first, so you can decide on which one to start
  • I enjoyed the structure of the session itself
  • The warm up you did with your question: “How would you be like?”
  • The actual session and the link to both outcomes
  • Plus the hypnotic boost on the last day
  • It was great, that we were flexible on the time frame of each session
  • Having my own space was essential
  • I liked our day together (the pub we went and the food we had)
  • Having the sessions on the floor …. good stuff!

Thank you again for the sessions! I am so happy that I have done it.
I am sure, that I will come fore sessions again. Maybe this year already. My take away from last time: Having my own space is important. To be able to process everything. Share my topics and thoughts with you in the beginning.
Best wishes and hugs, Sandra

In this vlog you find all information about the workshops I’m doing this summer 2019 in Greece. When you book before half of April you get 10% Early Bird discount. 

Unfortunately we couldn’t go there again in the next summer(s) without risking our mental health, our physical body, our future live, because of the restrictions according to new rules. But when we do not acquiesce in this new weirdness, we CAN DO IT. If not in Greece, than wherever we are. What’s more important? Count your blessings and know who your really are. Connect to YOUR INNER POWER. We are infinite consciousness.

Do you want to know more?

Read more information here about the summerworkshops in Greece.

Read more blogs on my website about the power of the mind, perception or the influence of the way we think (unsuspecting and unconsciously) on creating stress or (consciously) releasing stress.

Or call me for a free online talk when you want to know more before you can take a decision, like: Does this suit me? How big is the group? Is it possible that … ? Et cetera.

In april 2018 ontving ik een bericht uit Northern Carolina (USA) van Richard Downs jr., waarin hij mij om hulp vroeg vanwege zijn depressies en paniekaanvallen. Hij had mij online gevonden en al mijn video’s bekeken.

Eind 2018 schreef ik een blog over Richard, dat ik uiteindelijk gebruikt heb in mijn boek.

Richard (50) is een professioneel violist en componist. Hij heeft de hele wereld rondgereisd om concerten te geven, zowel solo als in orkesten en combo’s. Hij stuurde me online een verzoek om hem te helpen. Nadat hij al mijn video’s op mijn YouTube kanaal bekeken had. Als wij met de eerste sessie beginnen is hij net vijftig geworden. Hij is helemaal vastgelopen en nauwelijks in staat om de deur uit te gaan. Hij woont weer bij zijn ouders in Noord Carolina. En hij wordt verlamd door angst en slapeloosheid.

Hij heeft paniekaanvallen en durft de deur niet uit

Hij probeert af te kicken van prozac en trazodon, maar heeft al een week helemaal niet geslapen. “Wat is jouw probleem?” vraag ik. “Intense angst, podiumvrees, faalangst, paniek, slapeloosheid”, zegt hij. “En angst voor autoriteit, zoals een dirigent.” En hij is overgevoelig voor geluid, licht, alles. “Ik wil vluchten en durf de deur niet meer uit. Ik wil van de pijn af.”

Maar hij is niet suïcidaal. Daar vraag ik meteen naar. Want van de pijn af willen is niet hetzelfde als er een eind aan willen maken. Altijd wil ik weten of hij een gevaar is voor zichzelf. “Ik voel een diep verdriet, ik huil om alles en maak me zorgen om mijn ouders. Een wanhopig gevoel van eenzaamheid, isolement. En ik ben bang dat het niet meer goed komt. En dat ik de rest van mijn leven afhankelijk zal zijn van antidepressiva en slaappillen. Van pillen die niet eens helpen.”

Tijdens de eerste gesprekken komt het verhaal eruit. Reeds op jonge leeftijd werd in Richard muzikaal talent ontdekt. Hij is de oudste zoon in een gezin, dat eind jaren zeventig uit Nicaragua naar de USA vluchtte. Zijn ouders deden alles voor zijn opleiding aan het conservatorium. Al zijn tijd en energie ging naar het viool spelen. Hij was niet alleen bang om te falen en zijn ouders teleur te stellen. Maar hij droeg ook de last op zijn jonge schouders om op te treden bij allerlei gelegenheden. En te bewijzen hoe ‘vrij en blij’ hij was in het nieuwe land, waar hij zich helemaal niet thuis voelde.

Een paniekaanval is vaak opgestapelde oude angst

De angst van een vluchtelingkind kun je niet wegspelen. Net zo min als verdriet en familietrauma’s. Al ben je nog zo’n getalenteerd wonderkind, wat hij zelf ook nog eens serieus betwijfelt. Muziek was zijn leven geworden en hij speelde wereldwijd in gerenommeerde orkesten. Na jaren op zijn tenen lopen is hij het plezier in muziek maken totaal verloren. Hij laat zijn viool al maanden links liggen. Aanvankelijk dacht hij dat het een midlife crisis was, maar de paniekaanvallen worden alleen maar erger. Hij heeft een periode flink geblowd en daar werd het niet beter van. Dit heeft een soort psychose veroorzaakt, waardoor hij panisch werd.

In acht online Skype sessies houden we grote schoonmaak. Ik leer hem tappen op pijnlijke herinneringen. En help hem trauma’s en beperkende conclusies op te ruimen. En die te vervangen door andere emoties en er een nieuwe betekenis aan te geven. Hierdoor gaat hij weer geloven in zichzelf, de wereld, het leven en zijn mogelijkheden. Omdat hij slecht slaapt en vroeg wakker is, doen we de sessies om 5 uur in de ochtend, in zijn tijdzone. Dat is om 11 uur mijn tijd. En dan slaapt de rest van zijn familie nog en kan hij ongehoord zijn verhaal doen.

Richard Downs jr., violist, review op google, Jeannette van Uffelen. Thank you dear Jeannette.

Hupsakee! De straat op!

En dan komt het moment dat hij de deur uit moet. Het vermijden van een paniekaanval kost meer energie dan de confrontatie opzoeken. Exposure! Het vermijden van angstige situaties is geen oplossing. Integendeel, de angst zit in je hoofd, in je gedachtewereld. En die groeit bij gebrek aan ervaring met een andere werkelijkheid. Zoals ik al eerder vertelde: Er op af! Maar dan is het voor mij best lastig dat hij zo ver weg is.

Desondanks werkt mijn methodiek even goed online. Want alle vervolgstappen doen we allereerst in het hoofd, in verbeelding, in fantasie. Want het lichaam weet het verschil niet, dus zo kan hij het helemaal meemaken. Niet alleen in het hoofd, maar iedere stap die hij zich voorstelt voelt hij in zijn lichaam. Ja, hypnose werkt en je hoeft er niet voor te liggen of voor rond te zweven. Het werkt als je rechtop zit en klaar wakker bent. We doen het allemaal, maar meestal weten we niet dat we het doen. Ik gebruik het bewust en vertel het er ook nog eens bij.

Ik laat Richard de hele weg naar buiten eerst gedetailleerd beschrijven. Vanaf zijn voordeur laat ik hem de hele route ervaren. Wie hij waar tegenkomt als hij de trap af loopt. Waarbij ik bij alle paniek, emoties, die dat oproept, direct intervenieer. Ik geef hem bij iedere emotie instructies om te kloppen op zijn gezicht. Ik geef hem exacte aanwijzingen voor de juiste meridianen. De instructies houd ik simpel en direct. Ik noem geen meridianen of spieren, maar wijs de plek aan. Dat bevordert het lekker loslaten en werkt ontspannend.

Mijn manier van praten zorgt dat hij zich veilig voelt. Hij weet dat ik bij hem ben. Zo kan hij iedere angst herbeleven, doorleven en loslaten. Zo help ik hem de angst te vervangen door rustgevende en versterkende emoties. Ik heb hem namelijk tevoren tot in detail gevraagd waar hij gelukkig van wordt. Dus dat fiets ik erin op het juiste moment.

Paniekaanval? De dreiging zit in je hoofd

Als iemand zegt: “Als ik thuis blijf komen de muren op me af”, zeg ik: “Blijf vanavond thuis en wacht op wat er gebeurt.” Ik weet namelijk dat muren niet bewegen. Angst zit in je hoofd. Jezelf confronteren is in zulke gevallen de beste oplossing. Je moet het leven ervaren en je angst tegemoet treden. Dat was ook met Richard het geval. Ik begeleidde hem in ‘trance’ de eerste stappen het huis uit. Tijdens deze geleide ‘reis’ komt Richard in het trappenhuis de schoonmaker tegen. Een grote man, die hem vriendelijk en bemoedigend toelacht. Die man kom je niet tegen als je binnen blijft.

Of het nu werkelijk gebeurt of in ‘fantasie’ maakt niet uit. Het is een versterkende ervaring. Wij zijn online in gesprek tijdens deze wandeling, die in zijn gedachten plaatsvindt. En die hij mij vertelt. Ik ‘wandel’ met hem mee en ook in mijn gedachten ontstaan beelden. En ik bevestig alles wat hem goed doet voelen. En ik help hem alles wat hem tegenhoudt weg te kloppen. Zo veranderen we het in zijn emotionele veld.

“Alle strijd wordt eerst in de geest gestreden.”

Jeanne d’Arc

Tijdens één van zijn eerste trips buitenshuis vindt hij een baantje. Hij wordt machinist van een kindertreintje in een winkelcentrum in de buurt. Ooit zou hij hier niet opgekomen zijn en vooral angst voor de drukte ervaren. Maar nu is zijn aandacht gericht op de kinderen in het treintje, die genieten van hun ritjes. Het doet hem goed en hij wordt er zelf vrolijk van. Het lukt hem niet altijd om te gaan, maar het gaat hem steeds beter af.

Richard Downs jr., violinist, recovery from anxiety and depression, talented child herstellen van angst, paniekaanvallen, depressies, het gewonde kind helen, tapping, EFT, loslaten

Vandaag kun je alles oplossen

Na de zomer zet Richard een paar flinke stappen. Letterlijk en figuurlijk; een doorbraak. Hij pakt zijn viool weer op en aanvaardt zelfs een aanbod van het orkest, waar hij eerder in speelde. Hij is weer in staat het wat luchtiger aan te pakken. Natuurlijk ben ik heel blij met het resultaat. Ik heb hem hard geconfronteerd en hem in de modder laten zwemmen. Dat moet soms ook even. Net lang genoeg om er voor altijd uit te willen blijven.

Soms wordt hij nog door zijn angsten bevangen, maar hij weet dat hij er niet voor kan weglopen. “Recht erop af!” is mijn advies. Dat doet hij nu, soms met angst en beven.

Ongeacht hoe onze angsten ontstaan zijn, er is altijd een manier om ervan af te komen. Als je het echt wilt en verantwoordelijkheid neemt voor je eigen leven. Als je dapper genoeg bent om hulp te vragen. Richard wilde weer durven reizen en hier hebben we werk van gemaakt in de sessies. Hij is naar Mexico gevlogen, waar hij zijn vriendin ten huwelijk vroeg. Een dappere man, un hombre valiente!!

Begin 2021 omarmde hij zijn viool weer met enthousiasme. En nadat ik zijn nieuwe videoserie zag en erop reageerde, zei hij: “Yes, I have a new surge of creative energy in my being!!” Hij reist zo nu en dan weer naar de States om weer te spelen met het orkest, waar hij jaren werkte.

In zijn woorden

Tussen de sessies door schreef Richard reviews op Google en Facebook, zoals:

Jeannette is een combinatie van kennis en geduld. En een oprechte toewijding om anderen te helpen genezen. Met haar hulp en aanmoediging ben ik op weg om mijn leven terug te krijgen! Ze is een zeer bekwaam therapeut. Ik ervoer paniek en angst voor van alles. Maar zij kon tot mij spreken op een manier die mij de moed gaf om risico te nemen en mijn angsten onder ogen te zien. En wanneer ze zag dat ik mijn best deed, maar niet meer kon, was ze zorgzaam en empathisch. Ze gaf me ruimte om mijn gedachten uit te spreken en zelfs om het oneens te zijn met haar procedures. Want ze is zelfverzekerd en bescheiden tegelijk.

Met Jeannette voelde het nooit alsof ik een sessie had met een therapeut. Zo eentje die een dogmatische serie van standaardmodellen volgt.
Zij is vloeibaar, flexibel en intuïtief. Ze voelt de diepste behoefte van de cliënt en stemt daarop af. Ik ervoer haar meer als een goede vriendin, voor wie ik me moeiteloos opende met mijn diepste angsten en twijfels. Dat is nog eens een gave!”

Thank you so much my dear Jeannette! You have been there with me in the lowest … With love!

Richard Downs jr., Mexico, zo maak je een eind aan paniekaanvallen, depressies, Faster EFT, Emotion Replacement Therapy, confrontatie met je angst, exposure

Kijk en luister naar Richard op zijn Sangeet Orkestra YouTube kanaal, waar hij alle instrumenten in zijn eigen orkest speelt.

Dreaming … I love to do it, especially when I’m awake. My fast and creative mind sometimes got me crazy by filling me up with too many projects. I tend to be impulsive, so sometimes it happens that before I really think about something, I’m already DOING it. So some time ago I kind of forced myself to choose WHAT to focus on. This is what was left and preferably in combination

  • My work as a therapist
  • My work as an iconpainter
  • Writing
  • Being at home with loved ones ánd touring this beautiful planet

Dreaming … I’ve been getting better in doing it. I remember lesser that I dream at night, but I do dream more often just before I fall asleep. That I do very consciously. With thoughts about my ideals I enter the night. I make pictures in my mind, I see it in front of me. This I’ve thought to myself, especially since I’ve been getting myself into hypnosis and the powerful impact of the unconscious mind.

Long ago I dreamt about working in Greece and somewhere in the back of my mind  I’ve been searching for the right place to realise this dream since years. Meanwhile I understand more and more how I can do this.

Dreaming in community

Two years ago, in my online search for worldwide communities, I stumbled on a place in Northern Greece,  inspired and started by people from Findhorn, a spiritual community, learning centre and eco village in Scotland. I wanted to know more about it and experience this place, so I planned to go to Pilion, but I had to change my plan (because I was invited to come to work in Hawaii).

Last year again I planned to come here, but broke an ankle, which was not my wish nor was I dreaming this and surely it was not my plan, but it happened. So all I had to do than was to accept and take some time to sit down and reflect on my life, ideas, plans, wishes and dreams.

Finally last month I arrived here in Anilio, one of the three centres of Kalikalos, holistic network, an extraordinary place.

The wild woods

This is a very fertile and green area with beautiful old trees, where the vigs are getting better every day and nature here feels so alive. The sun is hot and the rain falls hard. Sleeping here under the trees, surrounded by who knows what kind of creatures (scorpions, snakes and squirrels for sure) appears to bring us strong dreams, which we sometimes do share in circle gatherings or private conversations.

This part of Pelion is called Σπιτι των Κενταυρων, meaning: Home of the Centaurs. The legends say those creatures have been gallopping around here. And maybe they still do?

Being born under the star and the moon in Sagittarius I feel a kind of fascination for these mythical creatures, who didn’t seem to be always the most easy ones to have around, but for sure they loved adventures, travelling and were able to handle there arrow and bow for shooting on their goals.

centaur (/ˈsɛntɔːrtɑːr/GreekΚένταυροςKéntaurosLatincentaurus), or occasionally hippocentaur, is a mythological creature with the upper body of a human and the lower body and legs of a horse.

Living a dream

I don’t remember much of my dreaming here at the moment, but I was told that I was laughing in my sleep last night. Since I arrived here I’ve been talking about my work, giving individual sessions in a yurt (nomads tent) and workshops in the open air, under a roof and surrounded by trees.

We had the rain pooring down during one of the workshops and I had to raise my voice to be heart above the thunder. And there I stood, writing on a whiteboard, looking down at a bunch of people that looked like they could fall asleep any moment. The opposite was true! They were very involved, but I had told them to sit or lay down as comfortable as they could be, because the goal was releasing stress. There were many questions and this environment was very inspiring.

After some explanation about meridians, Traditional Chinese Medicinknowledge and the tapping on meridians we’ve tapped together, so everyone could experience this. While the rain was pooring down and I told about my vision, about what I do, why I do it and how it works. And I taught about how you can release stress and tap into Your Inner Power in any situation, to improve yourself and make your life easier.

I really enjoyed working with these lovely people and it was so much fun to do (as well because of the challenging weather circumstances)!

For sure I will be back here, because it suits to my dreams for creation, connecting, community. And all of that is possible and doable in this beautiful healthy part of the planet, in my second homeland Greece.

Nature and love.
Love for nature.
And naturally loving ourselves and eachother.

Best office ever, living the dream, Anilio community retreats workshops

My favorite office is the long room, the workshop area, close to the wooden treehouse, my home for the summer months

Why am I resistant to change?

Why am I resistant to change? What is holding me back, while the way I act is bothering me so much? Do I actually not want to change?

I hear this question a lot and I notice that people get angry on themselves, because ‘something’ is not changing fast enough and/or because they are repeating themselves again and again.

Maybe it is not resistance to change at all? But the question we actually should ask is: Why do so many of us want to stay in alignment with what we hold? And the answer to that might be: because it helped us to survive. This way we’re playing it safe. It might not be true that you don’t want to change, but you just want to be safe.

If you got resources inside yourself, telling you: ‘It’s not safe to be different’, those resources will keep you inline. And those resources are unconsciously. Think of a little baby that ends up in a certain structure, where it has everything to stay alive. This way of living is all it knows: This is live, this is the world, this is how it is.

Outside the (familiar) lines

And than comes a moment this child is growing up and doing something ‘different’, steps ‘outside the lines’ and gets beaten up (not literally per se, it might be just a look or a frown) by mum, dad, sister, brother, auntie, granddad; at home, on the street, at school. And when that happens (a few times) she or he will take care of staying in alignment henceforth to be safe again. This happens before and faster than we realise it.

How and when you’ve decided to stay in alignment, you forget. You just do it automatically, it’s almost an instinctive response to be safe. But there were reasons and you’ve made your conclusions. You might have been ‘cut short’ to protect you. Or you were beaten, because the one that beat you didn’t know any other way. They loved you the way they were loved. Your mother probably was very fearful herself, for whatever what reason. Do you know it? Often we don’t. And does it mean anything about you? No. However, don’t you think it’s time to let go of all this and make room for yourself, your talents, your dreams and ideals? Yes, of course you do.

information about the methods I use

It’s safe to change

The best way to change this alignment is to go to all the alignment pieces in your mind and change them one by one¹. And than, all of a sudden, you naturally start to move in a different alignment, the lines dissolve and you start to go your own direction.

My life is normal, this is what I’ve always been like, according to me right now. But somewhere I do remember that I used to be different and that  I had problems. Because today my essence is different than before and that’s the result of clearing up old beliefs about myself, the world and live. Oh yes, I’ve changed. I am lovelier, funnier and easier. And so is my live. Somedays it’s just live and that’s fine as well.

When you start doing this kind of work and change your memories, you might ruin your identity completely. You will no longer be that worthless piece of shit, that good-for-nothing, pantywaist, fatty or name it, that still defines your selfimage. Your personality will change and it is possible you become more succesfull than you’ve ever dared to dream of. So be warned!

Resistant or fear of being happy?

Allow yourself to see what you don’t allow yourself to see.
(Milton Erickson)

You’re probably just like your mother², you act like your mother, even though you say you hate her and you’re resistant to be like her. You replay and rewatch these memories over and over again and you still believe it. And you complain about your problems, just like your mum. Or you silently drink them away, just like your dad.

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You have to change the rules yourself

I don’t believe you don’t want to change, you just want to be safe. That’s why you keep on doing like everyone at home does, just like your mother.

But you can change the rules and that you have to do yourself. To change the rules means: you go to your mother and you look after her. You heal your mother, inside you. Is it really your mother? NO, your mother is not even here. That is the key. You have to address your stuff and transform whatever it is you’re holding within you, for you and against you. You’re not broken. You are more than your story, your history (herstory), more than your body, more than your mind and conclusions. You can change it all.

You are unlimited consciousness and at the same moment you are just a human being. Nothing special. (Why the hack should we all be special, rich, famous and happy all the time? But that’s another blog.) You’re doing a good job. You may not like the current results. If you want to change the results you’ve got to change what you holding in and start acting from a different set of rules. inside. And it’s up to you to define the rules.

¹   Cleaning up doesn’t need months. On the contrary, a lot can be done in some hours, because you don’t need to tell it all. How often have you told your stories? And did it bring you anything? Better not! In this method that’s not necessary. This works faster.

²   Mother can be replaced by: father, sister, brother, teacher, etc.

DAY 294   What started as my 100 DAYS OF HEALING TOUR appeared to become a much longer and still ongoing tour. Yes, I’m an optimist. And I choose to always be one.

Without realising it, I landed back on Cyprus exactly 9 months after my departure. What am I doing here? For one reason or another I had to get back here just for a while, before the end of the year.

Warm seaswimming in December

On March 15 this year at Larnaka Airport I was brought in a wheelchair to the airplane and with a chunk of plaster on my leg I hopped into the craft. For a while I have considered to have myself carried by such a Greek God, but actually the situation itself already was crazy enough. On December 15 lately I stepped out of the plane totally autonomic and walked with my little suitcase into the sunlight again.

In the term in between I went through an expeditiously development that changed my life in all aspects. While until then I was a mediocre runner, everlasting continuer and succesful runaway, a complicated ankle fracture forced me to sit still. And in that stillness progress on all levels arised; physically, mentally and spiritually. Probably in reversed order, so spiritually, mentally and physically.

Today we finally did our delayed walk in the Troödos mountains,the plan we had on the 2nd of March, when Elia came to pick me up. But I dropped off the stairs, so in stead of to the mountains she brought me linea recta to the hospital.   

I still limp and feel pain every day, but I have to confess that I wouldn’t have missed the lapse. I was unstopable and this tumble made me taking time to stand (sit) still for who I am and what I really want.

There where you stumble your biggest treasure is burried.
(Paulo Coelho)

Walk in Troödos Mountains with Elia Stephanidou

Life is an adventure and I am a wanderer, a therapist and an artist. Once I thought I had to choose, but this year made it clear to me that I’m allowed to be all and that as an (icon) painter ánd as a therapist I can be productive and groovy.

Within one month the titanium framework will be taken out of my ankle. This has made the walking quite nasty until now and the doctor foretells me not to count on too much improvement, but I take the chance.

I will focus the coming year particularly on individual intensives and retreats, in which fundamental changes will be effectuated fast. I’ve already started this in the past months.

I know what I’m good at and I know what I love to do the most. And only that I will do the coming year.

I wish you all good, lots of love & progression in the new year!


DAY 94   Today is the day I’m going to stride into the sea. At least, that’s the plan.

I drive to a beach where I remember the nearest parking places and shortest path to the sea, because they have no real dunes there and that’s why it’s the most dangerous part of the Dutch shore. Every disadvantage has its benefit. 😉 BUT since the last time I was here it’s all changed to parking only for licencees, which I’m not. I choose to park illegal today (at the car park of the hotel I used to do my seminars some years ago) and the path is much longer than I remembered. It’s a painful walk, up to the dunes and down to the beach followed by a bumpy trip through the sand to the water. My knee and ankle are very stiff and the ligaments seem too short to stretch.

I take of my shoes and feel the cold soothing water caressing my feet. They’ve missed it, I’ve missed it. Standing in the surf, the wet sand adapts around the shape of my feet soft and easy, but the pull is strong as usual, so I take care to keep my balance. This feels so good! Big Smile. I would like to, but don’t dare to sit on the sand, because I’m not so sure of being able to rise with no support except the crutch, which I’m pushing into the sand a little too easy. After some time standing and walking carefully into the sea, with my three legs, I start walking back.

“I’m healthy. I’m healing myself. My legs are fine. I love my ankles. My feet are strong. I walk steady and stable. I’m very flexible and so are my legs. I am infinite healing power.”

Before every step I watch the sand and choose a spot where I can put my toes deeper than my heel, to limit the pressure and pain on the tendon of Achilles. I guess this way of walking looks like crazy and I laugh when I watch myself from above. It’s like I’m climbing a mountain, using my crutch like a hook and pulling myself upwards. Although it hurts I love to be walking barefoot in the sand. A girl asks me if I need help and I thank her very much for her kindness. I take a coffee at the beachclub, get back into my shoes, walk to my car and drive home. Lovely to be out in nature and happy to be back home in my silent space. PEACE.

To be continued …   (Part of my 100 days of healing tour)
© Jeannette van Uffelen

DAY 77  Every morning at awakening there’s that moment, where I move myself, feel and think: “Oh yes, that leg.” That stiff leg. Not that painful anymore, but that nasty uncomfortable feeling which I don’t get used to. In the night I’ve forgotten it all, happily, but when I wake up there is the constraint of the body. I try my best and give a twist to my thoughts: three weeks ago I wasn’t able to stand, had a cast around it, had to lay on my back. And 77 days ago my foot was a wound, with broken bones, torn ligaments and a lot of pain. Now only my leg is stiff and painful, but as good as whole. The bone is beautiful! The skin is gorgeous. The scarfs on both sides are thin lines, almost the same colour as the rest of the skin. I can turn on both sides, don’t need extra pillows anymore and I can even lay on my belly, sometimes.

Laying in bed I move my feet. Stretching backwards and curving toes, than bending up front and curling up. Not a nice feeling, but nothing compared to the pain at March 2. I succeed much more in doing this then just after the cast was taken off. I let my right foot join in, flexible and painless. I can be frustrated by thinking how easy and flexible it was, but I choose to admire my left foot for the beautiful recovery and progress.

With a crutch I waggel to the bathroom. It asks courage to stand on it again. And I say loudly to myself: “You can stand on it.” That’s what the fysiotherapist also says, but I tend to forget it, I tend to spare it when it hurts, but now I can stand on it. Going towards the pain is always better than pulling away from it. Avoiding never solves anything, it only delays and than you’re carrying it with you for longer. I can do it and I do it.

Showering while I’m standing is nice. I switch off the warm tap and leave my left leg under the cold shower until I’ve dried the rest of me. Sitting on a stool I dry my feet and walk back to my bedroom. It feels like summer so I put on my blue flower dress, bought in Honolulu. After my breakfast with Cypriot coffee I go out. Flip, my cat, comes with me.

I walk very consiously, try to lean on the crutches as less as possible and as much as possible on my feet, rolling of my feet at every step. I watch and feel how I do that with my right foot. I never pay attention to this. What actually is normal walking, how does it work? If you can do something and you do it naturally you don’t pay attention to it anymore. I’m on the road for about 45 minutes and I walk almost one kilometer. Meanwhile I check at the newborn in the neighbourhood; gooses, coots, lambs.

Every morning I meet at least one stranger on the go, who asks me if I can manage and what has happened to me. I tell them I broke my ankle and that last month I wasn’t able to walk at all and now I’m walking outside. And that I’m very happy about that and so it’s going a little better every day. Yes, it hurts. Or someone walks by, doesn’t ask for details, but wishes me the best. People smile friendly at me or nodd at me engouraging. What a beautiful neighbourhood I live in with such kind people.

I feel vulnerable, but because of all these kind people around me I feel protected when making my first fragile steps. I experience compassion and encouragement. And I focus on my progression and on how good it feels to walk here so calm and consciously. To have the time and to take the time. And to be totally in the here and now.

It is only 11 in the morning. I’m writing my blog, while I’m sitting with both bare feet in the sun. For Mothersday I got lavander oil and now I’m going to massage my feet with it and than just lay in the sun for awhile. Here and now. Don’t worry. Be happy.

To be continued …   (Part of my 100 days of healing tour)
© Jeannette van Uffelen